Category Archives: Love
I kissed Greg goodbye yesterday. He’s gone. I’ll miss him.
But it’s only for 9 days and he’ll be back. He’s gone to Boston for work and PA for a family event. I will try my best not to let his absence consume me. I won’t text him constantly to tell him that I miss him or that I’m thinking of him. I will function as the human being I was before he strolled into my life a mere 7 weeks ago.
This week isn’t really going to be busy work wise, so I have to try to fill my time up. I need to keep mentally and physically busy. It’s only 9 days and they’ll fly by. At the very least, they will go no slower than the previous 9 days or any other 9 days in the history of humanity. It would be nice if I had some big news to share when he returned. Like…I looked into my career move and was able to make THIS much progress. Maybe that’s what I’ll spend my week doing. He loves to talk career with me. He fashions himself a great listener, thinker and adviser. I always feel this need to impress him with work related things. Actually, I always feel the need to impress him, period. He can be a bit intimidating. I kinda like it though. It turns me on. He’s tall and strong and broad-shouldered and incredibly intelligent and I’m immensely attracted to all of that. I wonder sometimes if I’m loking for a father figure. That dominant authority. I like when men take charge. You want the reins? Be my guest. I’ve been in charge of everything for so long, I’m ready and willing to let someone smart, funny and good-natured take the controls. Independence schmindependence.
Last week, our schedules didn’t allow us to get together during the week. We saw each other last Sunday and then had to wait till Friday to see each other again. It was a looong week. By Friday, we were both horny and in desperate need of sex. On top of that, we knew that we would be going without for 9 days. We went out to watch the Michigan game and by the time we got back to his place it was in the door, in the bedroom, clothes off and fuck! Lol. No delays. We fucked like 2 people who knew there wouldn’t be sex again for days and days. He went longer than he usually does. He fucked harder than he usually and he was more bad ass than he usually is. Between rounds 1 and 2 we talked about sex, jerking off, fantasies and porn. Found out that skinny, white girls masturbating is what gets him off. So tame. I told him that gay porn does it for me. He basically wished me luck with that…you gone be watching that by yourself sista.
…He texted me! Yeay! I was wondering if/when I’d hear from him and if I’d have to be the one to reach out to him. But I didn’t have to. It’s the little things.
His birthday is coming up and today I reserved us a one-night stay at a BEAUTIFUL resort about an hour away. It’s not actually a resort. It’s one of those country side places with a pool, tennis courts, stables, walking trails, gardens, bike paths, etc. The photos are gorgeous. I want to celebrate his birthday but I don’t want to be too extravagant since by the time it rolls around we would only have been dating for two and a half months. I figure a two-day, one-night get-away all paid for, plus a picnic, maybe some tennis, maybe a long walk, all that good shit, will be just the perfect celebration. I may throw in a monogrammed shirt as a little extra. Maybe some cufflinks.
I met with a friend for lunch on Friday and she gave me an idea for my next career move. It has planted a seed, and even if I don’t go in the direction that she proposed, I have at least started to think about my next move and the time frame that I’m working with.
I feel like I’m in such a good place right now. I’m working, Greg is in my life, I’m going to see my family in a month and my finances are relatively stable. I’m not stressing about anything at the moment and it feels so damn good. There are of course, little niggling things that I have to work on but for the most part, I really feel good.
Here’s to that good feeling.
It’s Monday morning and fuckall…it’s snowing AGAIN! I am so beaten down by this weather, I can’t even find the appropriate words. Thank God that I’ve got a job I mostly enjoy, a dude who fucks me regularly and vacation plans within the next 6 weeks. Yay me! <—-That was totally fake as I really am feeling weather beaten.
Aside from that though, life seems to be taking a break from kicking my ass. And it’s greatly appreciated. Greg and I have been spending a good deal of time together and it has been quite enjoyable. Every minute of it. We’re 5 weeks in and feeling no pain. It does feel like much longer though. I think that’s because we see each other often and when we do, we spend a lot of time talking. There’s no TV to distract us so we eat, drink, talk and fuck each other’s brains out. For a man in his 40s his stamina is truly impressive. I’m accustomed to sex once at night OR in the morning. With Greg, it’s twice at night and quite possibly in the morning. If we have sex only once at night, we definitely go a round in the morning. The first time we had sex, we did it 4 times in 24 hours. Lol. I think we both broke some long held records.
Sex with him is oh, SO enjoyable! He is playful, giving and attentive. He loves sex and so we have a lot of it. He makes sure that I cum before he does. He is less experienced than I am in terms of sexual adventures and I find that endearing. He thinks it’s exciting. He‘s never had a 3-some but I have. He thinks that pushing the envelope is anal sex. Lol. I think that’s so cute. I have given him carte blanche to do whatever he wants, try whatever he wants, and explore his sexuality as much, as deep, or as far as he wants to. In for a penny, in for a pound as they say. I want to be the one to take him past his previously manufactured boundaries. It’s exciting to both of us.
We also have lots of silly, serious, interesting, intellectual, funny conversations. I told him the other night that he is the most serious fun guy that I’ve ever met. Or the most fun, serious guy that I’ve ever met. He is mature and serious one minute and then the next he is saying or doing something completely silly to crack me up. His sense of humor is ever-present but cleverly disguised. He is quick to smile and laugh but is as swiftly serious, intellectual Greg. He is a voracious reader. And strikingly intelligent. Sometimes intimidating.
He’s also affection personified. Full of random hugs and kisses. So handsome. So tall. I’m never with him without wanting to climb aboard. He cooks for me too! I know it’s early on and everything is supposed to come up smelling roses but guess what, it doesn’t always and it is with with him so yeay me. For realzz.
Thus far, I’ve haven’t had anything to stress about where he’s concerned. And when I find myself trying to manufacture problems, I swiftly kick myself. This situation is moving along well and I’m putting no pressure on it, myself or him. If it turns out to be long term, that’s great. If it turns out to be short lived, as long as we both respect each other’s feelings, I will live with that. It’s easier to navigate the start of a relationship if you remove the self-imposed pressure. That’s sounds so easy, but it’s really not. I obsessively look ahead and try to map relationships out. And, you know what’s ahead? Well, me neither. And so I have to constantly remind myself to just take it easy. Let it play out. Don’t try to map it out. Just see where it goes. So far, it’s working and I feel rewarded for the effort I’m putting in.
The aforementioned vacay will take me to Barbados. Home again, home again, jiggidy jig. I’m looking forward to it but it’s less of a vacation and more of just a trip to see my family and friends.
Life has been pretty much busy with work, busy with Greg and sleeping. I can’t complain. I’m feeling lucky and I like the feeling.
Till next time. Cheers!
In my last post I wrote about meeting Greg at a happy hour. The night we met, we spent more than 3 hours talking and laughing. The world faded away as we delved into learning more and more about each other. The conversation flowed smoothly, the laughs were plentiful and there was a HUGE connection!
After the event, we exchanged numbers. He suggested that we get together when he got back from a trip a week later but the next day he called and we discussed the fact that neither one of us wanted to wait that long to see each other again. So three days after we met, we went on our first date.
The first date was much like the first time meeting…we talked for HOURS! We actually shut the place down. The date was easy and enjoyable and felt so very natural. We were quite smitten with each other.
When we left the restaurant, I was walking on air. I told my friend about it the next day and she was as giddy as I was. She has a good feeling about Greg. I’m being cautiously optimistic. I’m still reeling a bit from the last attempt at a relationship with someone who turned out to be a horrible person.
There are two important things about Greg that fit well with what I’m looking for. He already has kids and doesn’t want any more and he has been married before and wants to get married again so I know commitment doesn’t send him running screaming from the room.
With the first date under our belt and a growing attraction to each other in full bloom, we were both excited to spend more time together. At dinner we’d spoken about where we both were mentally and emotionally with regards to starting a new relationship. He’s actually in a better place than I. I’m freshly scarred and bruised with doubts about…men in general. But I also told him that I’m not stupid enough to let what someone did to me in the past, stop me from pursuing what could be a great relationship.
This horrendous winter we’re having has caused grief for everyone at some point but yesterday, it worked in my favor. Greg’s flight out of town was cancelled so we jumped on the opportunity to get together. Snow on the ground, mores snow coming, frigid temps and howling winds did nothing to deter us.
We met up in a cozy bar in the city and by the end of the night we’d proven beyond doubt that the physical and sexual attraction was really real. Thank God he had an early morning flight. Otherwise, the temptation to move from the bar to his condo would have been too much to overcome. As it was, we just made out like teenagers. It was AWESOME! He’s a GREAT kisser and I love the feel of his beard. I cannot wait to feel it against the rest of my body. Yes, I know…we just met. But I also know that we’re adults and we want to fuck each others brains out. And not just once or twice.
As wet sat there and discussed sex between two horny, consenting, able minded adults, I took it upon myself to play devil’s advocate and come up with reasons why we shouldn’t sleep together so soon. None of my reasons stood up to scrutiny. And so, within the next few weeks, I’m going to jump his tall, strong, athletic bones. I told him I’m not interested in casual sex. Nor will I be a willing party to non-monogamous sex. Happy to say, he agrees. And yes, (some people believe that) men will say anything to get into your pants but those men are generally young, immature and only interested in sowing wild oats. Greg fits into none of those categories.
I know where he stands politically, I know what his religious beliefs are, I know a helluva lot about his values and morals and now I can’t wait to find out how his dick feels in my mouth. Lol.
There’s so much to catch you up on!
As I always do, I re-read the last post I made before I began writing this one. And it seems so…long ago. Quite a lot has happened in my love life since I last blogged.
My last post was May 21st. It turns out that 3 days before that, unbeknownst to me, I’d met the guy that would change everything about my world. Oh, by the way, I’ve decided to stop writing about my relationship life and start writing about my sex life. I’m turning this puppy into a raunchy, blush-inducing, honest look into sex and the women that want it, have it and enjoy it. More on that later…
So, I went to a concert on May 18th and a relationship broke out. Brian and I were supposed to go together but he cancelled at the very last minute thereby forcing me to go solo. I went and managed to meet-up with a social group that I belong to. I am now dating someone from that social group who was at the concert. And he’s white! And awesome! I am part of an inter-racial relationship! My boyfriend is white! And he’s my BOYFRIEND! Lol.
Anyway, since I am completely convinced that talking/blogging about my relationships jinxes them, that’s about as much as I’m writing about that. Except to say that it has been a wonderful relationship thus far. I’ve done a ton of things that I’ve never done before, I am happy, grateful and head over heels in like.
Now, on to the juicy bits. Since I’ve started this new relationship, of course, I’ve been having that new relationship sex. That all the time, always wet, always erect, always ready to go sex. That, “oh shit, new dick!” sex. It’s GLORIOUS! And I’ve decided to write about it. Why? Well, why the fuck not? There are, at last count, a bazillion blogs out there with people writing about their relationships. I wanted to veer off course and talk about something that I’m better at than relationships. And that my friends, is sex. I’m great in bed. Uninhibited, try anything once, 3s not a crowd, bring on the porn, cameras welcome, drop some X, no holes barred, always wet, multiple orgasms, blow job enjoying, great in bed.
Last night we had anal sex for the first time. It wasn’t my first time or his of course, but it was our first time. Ah! Mah! Gah! Dude lubed me up and it was slow going at first but once he got it all the way in my butt he went to TOWN!!! Even as I write this, I’m getting short of breath.
We started off actually with him complaining that he was tired so I would have to get myself naked and get him hard, and THEN he’d see if he was up for sex. I was like, yeah right. Whatever. In any case, I took my t-shirt and panties off while he stood naked brushing his teeth. As soon as he got into bed my legs and arms were draped over him and his over me. We started talking and giggling as we are wont to do. We talked and giggled about me meeting his parents the day before, and some other shit that I can’t recall right now.
And then he challenged me to make him hard, not by a blow job but by talking him hard. I was like, fa real? You’re gonna make me TALK you hard?! “Yup”, he said. “Use your mouth that way and get me hard.” Challenge issued. Challenge accepted. To get me started, he asked what had been our most enjoyable sex so far in my opinion. And before I could answer, he answered for me. “Was it the first time I put my thumb in your butt?” Yup! That was awesome! We came so hard together. And my pussy was like Niagara Falls.
So this recap of our sex over the past 6 weeks went on for not long at all. It didn’t take my baby long to have a rock hard dick. Especially since he was lying on top of me as I recalled the different occasions and positions we’d explored. He jokingly said that I should keep a numbered log. I jokingly replied that I should start a blog. I had actually had the idea of blogging about my sex and sex in general about a week and a half ago and now here I was intertwined with him joking about it but taking it seriously.
Upon realizing that he was good and ready, I put his dick inside me. And we started and it was as usual, delicious. And I came. I always cum when he fucks me. And this is something that never happened with past partners. I usually only cum from clitoral stimulation and even then, not all the time. There’s something about my guy and our sex that brings me to orgasm, at least twice, each and every time. It’s amazing. I love it. And he loves it. He’s not much of a talker while he’s fucking me but the one thing that he manages to express verbally is that he loves my pussy. “Baby, I love fucking your pussy”, he says. They all say.
After I had my first orgasm, we changed positions slightly and continued the joyride. After a few minutes, when I thought he was close to climaxing he asked if I wanted him to fuck me in my ass, which of course meant “Turn around let me fuck you in your ass”.
We’d tried it the week before and only got his dick in part of the way. I was determined to be successful this time so he lubed me up and went at it. Slow at first, easing it in. The initial entry was fine, halfway in, it hurt, so we stopped for a second. Then after he put it back in, he slid ALL the way in. I gasped, and screamed and moaned all at the same time. He moaned loudly. I was on my knees and for some reason, I shit you not, I started to quietly sing “Face down butt up that’s the way we like to fuck” as he stroked like a pro. Then he said “Lie down flat on your stomach.” Oh heavenly Father. As I laid flat his dick went as far into my ass as it could go and then he for real started to fuck me. Fast. Hard. Hot. I was grabbing the sheets holding on for dear life and feeling, not thinking, just feeling. Panting, groaning, consuming and being consumed. I was flat on my stomach, he was flat on my back and stroking and stroking and hard and fast. “Fuck my ass baby, FUCK MY ASS baby PLEASE!!!” He’s making those heavy breathing, grunting, moaning noises that serve to make me wetter and cummier. Mmmmmm.
I knew he was nearing climax and I begged, “Cum in my ass baby, cum deep in my ass!” And he did. My being exploded with sheer ecstasy as he exploded deep inside my ass.
Turns out, he wasn’t that tired after all. 😉
It’s awesome to be back writing again! For me, writing is something so extremely personal…too personal as a matter of fact. I have been published in major magazines and newspapers, I write business materials for friends and clients all the time and yet, I have not done what I should to take my writing to the next level. Basically, I’m a punk. But enough about my failings as a human being…
I’m back to blogging here because there’s stuff I want to talk about. Things I want to share with the internets.
Let me start by going back one year. I moved from DC to Brooklyn last summer and had the absolute time of my life! It was three months of every single thing that I wanted and needed. Concerts in the park, new friends, old friends, favorite bar, walking in Prospect Park every evening, not running into my old boyfriend, a shot at love, partying, discovery, energy, life, happiness, you name it…I got it from Brooklyn last summer. I am so proud of myself for recognizing what I wanted, going after it and most importantly, making it happen!
I’m back in DC now and not feeling too shabby about it. I had planned on moving back again this summer but Brian happened. Brian. I love his name. Almost as much as I loved Scott’s name. Maaannn. Scott. My shot at love last summer. That muthafucka was the One and no one could tell me different. ‘Cept Scott of course. He told me different. “I ain’t the one”, that nigga said, “I ain’t the one.” So I accepted and moved on. No cars were keyed in the process. He just wasn’t the one. Exit stage left. Enter Brian.
I don’t know yet what will come of Brian, I just know that things are going well and the voice in my head is constantly screaming at me not to fuck this up. Cause that’s my thing…I fuck up relationships. At least that’s what I’ve been lead to believe. Can’t be all them, right? S’gotta be me.
Anyway, Brian is one of the reasons I’m back here writing, because I want to chronicle the success or failure of this relationship. I hope for success. It’d be a change of pace at the very least. Relationships are not my forte but I hope for success with Brian and I will do all that I know how to make it so.
So far there have been some very enjoyable dates. Dinners, lunch, a get together of friends at his house, live music at a bar, and this weekend an all-day reggae festival. I’m happy with the way things are going so I’ve decided not to move to Brooklyn and put unnecessary strain on something so new and potentially long-lasting.
I’ll be here throughout the summer updating absolutely no one about the progress of this budding interaction between two single, like-minded people. If I were not such a chump, I’d actually post this someplace where people could actually read it but alas, me’s a punk.
Till next time…