As I sit outside
Outside the shadows
Outside the angst
I realize the sun and the moon
The cloud and the stars
They are there for me
Patiently. I am not patient
They are patient.
They wait for me.
For me to look up
They call me
I don’t hear
I can’t hear
With the rush of the river of tears
In my ears
I can’t hear
But they stop
And then I hear
I hear all that has been calling
A name that I don’t hear often
A name I wish to hear more often
I saw the clouds today
The wave of clouds. The clouds for me
Waiting. I’m finally hearing
Hearing my name. For the first time
And I’m listening. And hearing.
And it is a sound that I enjoy.
In my last post I wrote about meeting Greg at a happy hour. The night we met, we spent more than 3 hours talking and laughing. The world faded away as we delved into learning more and more about each other. The conversation flowed smoothly, the laughs were plentiful and there was a HUGE connection!
After the event, we exchanged numbers. He suggested that we get together when he got back from a trip a week later but the next day he called and we discussed the fact that neither one of us wanted to wait that long to see each other again. So three days after we met, we went on our first date.
The first date was much like the first time meeting…we talked for HOURS! We actually shut the place down. The date was easy and enjoyable and felt so very natural. We were quite smitten with each other.
When we left the restaurant, I was walking on air. I told my friend about it the next day and she was as giddy as I was. She has a good feeling about Greg. I’m being cautiously optimistic. I’m still reeling a bit from the last attempt at a relationship with someone who turned out to be a horrible person.
There are two important things about Greg that fit well with what I’m looking for. He already has kids and doesn’t want any more and he has been married before and wants to get married again so I know commitment doesn’t send him running screaming from the room.
With the first date under our belt and a growing attraction to each other in full bloom, we were both excited to spend more time together. At dinner we’d spoken about where we both were mentally and emotionally with regards to starting a new relationship. He’s actually in a better place than I. I’m freshly scarred and bruised with doubts about…men in general. But I also told him that I’m not stupid enough to let what someone did to me in the past, stop me from pursuing what could be a great relationship.
This horrendous winter we’re having has caused grief for everyone at some point but yesterday, it worked in my favor. Greg’s flight out of town was cancelled so we jumped on the opportunity to get together. Snow on the ground, mores snow coming, frigid temps and howling winds did nothing to deter us.
We met up in a cozy bar in the city and by the end of the night we’d proven beyond doubt that the physical and sexual attraction was really real. Thank God he had an early morning flight. Otherwise, the temptation to move from the bar to his condo would have been too much to overcome. As it was, we just made out like teenagers. It was AWESOME! He’s a GREAT kisser and I love the feel of his beard. I cannot wait to feel it against the rest of my body. Yes, I know…we just met. But I also know that we’re adults and we want to fuck each others brains out. And not just once or twice.
As wet sat there and discussed sex between two horny, consenting, able minded adults, I took it upon myself to play devil’s advocate and come up with reasons why we shouldn’t sleep together so soon. None of my reasons stood up to scrutiny. And so, within the next few weeks, I’m going to jump his tall, strong, athletic bones. I told him I’m not interested in casual sex. Nor will I be a willing party to non-monogamous sex. Happy to say, he agrees. And yes, (some people believe that) men will say anything to get into your pants but those men are generally young, immature and only interested in sowing wild oats. Greg fits into none of those categories.
I know where he stands politically, I know what his religious beliefs are, I know a helluva lot about his values and morals and now I can’t wait to find out how his dick feels in my mouth. Lol.