I kissed Greg goodbye yesterday. He’s gone. I’ll miss him.
But it’s only for 9 days and he’ll be back. He’s gone to Boston for work and PA for a family event. I will try my best not to let his absence consume me. I won’t text him constantly to tell him that I miss him or that I’m thinking of him. I will function as the human being I was before he strolled into my life a mere 7 weeks ago.
This week isn’t really going to be busy work wise, so I have to try to fill my time up. I need to keep mentally and physically busy. It’s only 9 days and they’ll fly by. At the very least, they will go no slower than the previous 9 days or any other 9 days in the history of humanity. It would be nice if I had some big news to share when he returned. Like…I looked into my career move and was able to make THIS much progress. Maybe that’s what I’ll spend my week doing. He loves to talk career with me. He fashions himself a great listener, thinker and adviser. I always feel this need to impress him with work related things. Actually, I always feel the need to impress him, period. He can be a bit intimidating. I kinda like it though. It turns me on. He’s tall and strong and broad-shouldered and incredibly intelligent and I’m immensely attracted to all of that. I wonder sometimes if I’m loking for a father figure. That dominant authority. I like when men take charge. You want the reins? Be my guest. I’ve been in charge of everything for so long, I’m ready and willing to let someone smart, funny and good-natured take the controls. Independence schmindependence.
Last week, our schedules didn’t allow us to get together during the week. We saw each other last Sunday and then had to wait till Friday to see each other again. It was a looong week. By Friday, we were both horny and in desperate need of sex. On top of that, we knew that we would be going without for 9 days. We went out to watch the Michigan game and by the time we got back to his place it was in the door, in the bedroom, clothes off and fuck! Lol. No delays. We fucked like 2 people who knew there wouldn’t be sex again for days and days. He went longer than he usually does. He fucked harder than he usually and he was more bad ass than he usually is. Between rounds 1 and 2 we talked about sex, jerking off, fantasies and porn. Found out that skinny, white girls masturbating is what gets him off. So tame. I told him that gay porn does it for me. He basically wished me luck with that…you gone be watching that by yourself sista.
…He texted me! Yeay! I was wondering if/when I’d hear from him and if I’d have to be the one to reach out to him. But I didn’t have to. It’s the little things.
His birthday is coming up and today I reserved us a one-night stay at a BEAUTIFUL resort about an hour away. It’s not actually a resort. It’s one of those country side places with a pool, tennis courts, stables, walking trails, gardens, bike paths, etc. The photos are gorgeous. I want to celebrate his birthday but I don’t want to be too extravagant since by the time it rolls around we would only have been dating for two and a half months. I figure a two-day, one-night get-away all paid for, plus a picnic, maybe some tennis, maybe a long walk, all that good shit, will be just the perfect celebration. I may throw in a monogrammed shirt as a little extra. Maybe some cufflinks.
I met with a friend for lunch on Friday and she gave me an idea for my next career move. It has planted a seed, and even if I don’t go in the direction that she proposed, I have at least started to think about my next move and the time frame that I’m working with.
I feel like I’m in such a good place right now. I’m working, Greg is in my life, I’m going to see my family in a month and my finances are relatively stable. I’m not stressing about anything at the moment and it feels so damn good. There are of course, little niggling things that I have to work on but for the most part, I really feel good.
Here’s to that good feeling.
It’s Monday morning and fuckall…it’s snowing AGAIN! I am so beaten down by this weather, I can’t even find the appropriate words. Thank God that I’ve got a job I mostly enjoy, a dude who fucks me regularly and vacation plans within the next 6 weeks. Yay me! <—-That was totally fake as I really am feeling weather beaten.
Aside from that though, life seems to be taking a break from kicking my ass. And it’s greatly appreciated. Greg and I have been spending a good deal of time together and it has been quite enjoyable. Every minute of it. We’re 5 weeks in and feeling no pain. It does feel like much longer though. I think that’s because we see each other often and when we do, we spend a lot of time talking. There’s no TV to distract us so we eat, drink, talk and fuck each other’s brains out. For a man in his 40s his stamina is truly impressive. I’m accustomed to sex once at night OR in the morning. With Greg, it’s twice at night and quite possibly in the morning. If we have sex only once at night, we definitely go a round in the morning. The first time we had sex, we did it 4 times in 24 hours. Lol. I think we both broke some long held records.
Sex with him is oh, SO enjoyable! He is playful, giving and attentive. He loves sex and so we have a lot of it. He makes sure that I cum before he does. He is less experienced than I am in terms of sexual adventures and I find that endearing. He thinks it’s exciting. He‘s never had a 3-some but I have. He thinks that pushing the envelope is anal sex. Lol. I think that’s so cute. I have given him carte blanche to do whatever he wants, try whatever he wants, and explore his sexuality as much, as deep, or as far as he wants to. In for a penny, in for a pound as they say. I want to be the one to take him past his previously manufactured boundaries. It’s exciting to both of us.
We also have lots of silly, serious, interesting, intellectual, funny conversations. I told him the other night that he is the most serious fun guy that I’ve ever met. Or the most fun, serious guy that I’ve ever met. He is mature and serious one minute and then the next he is saying or doing something completely silly to crack me up. His sense of humor is ever-present but cleverly disguised. He is quick to smile and laugh but is as swiftly serious, intellectual Greg. He is a voracious reader. And strikingly intelligent. Sometimes intimidating.
He’s also affection personified. Full of random hugs and kisses. So handsome. So tall. I’m never with him without wanting to climb aboard. He cooks for me too! I know it’s early on and everything is supposed to come up smelling roses but guess what, it doesn’t always and it is with with him so yeay me. For realzz.
Thus far, I’ve haven’t had anything to stress about where he’s concerned. And when I find myself trying to manufacture problems, I swiftly kick myself. This situation is moving along well and I’m putting no pressure on it, myself or him. If it turns out to be long term, that’s great. If it turns out to be short lived, as long as we both respect each other’s feelings, I will live with that. It’s easier to navigate the start of a relationship if you remove the self-imposed pressure. That’s sounds so easy, but it’s really not. I obsessively look ahead and try to map relationships out. And, you know what’s ahead? Well, me neither. And so I have to constantly remind myself to just take it easy. Let it play out. Don’t try to map it out. Just see where it goes. So far, it’s working and I feel rewarded for the effort I’m putting in.
The aforementioned vacay will take me to Barbados. Home again, home again, jiggidy jig. I’m looking forward to it but it’s less of a vacation and more of just a trip to see my family and friends.
Life has been pretty much busy with work, busy with Greg and sleeping. I can’t complain. I’m feeling lucky and I like the feeling.
Till next time. Cheers!